Carefully, Hortense placed the last bit of crumbled brand-name minty chocolate sandwich cookies atop the pale green frosting. Hand on her lower back to ease the kink, she leaned back. Yes, she thought, these particular brownies would appeal to Eveleen and Joe Junior. A small smile spread across her face as she envisioned the joy of her grandchildren as they tore into the brownies. Perhaps it would take their minds off of the horrors of the zombie apocalypse.
But as if the thought had been a summons, a zombie’s arm smashed through the kitchen window, leaving gobs of putrefying flesh on the shards of glass. Hortense backed up against the counter. Teeth gritted, she scrabbled behind herself for the only two weapons available to her. Once she found them, she brought them to her chest and paused to assess the situation.
The zombie’s front half had made it through the window. Its obscenely swollen tongue lolled out of its mouth, providing a handy target. Hortense lobbed the dish of brownies straight at it. Eveleen and Joe Junior would have to forgive their grandmother for the lack of baked goods just this once. The plate struck true, eliciting a grunt. The zombie’s gelatinous eyes seemed to take on a look of surprise, as if astounded that such delectable, fudgy goodness laced with mint would be sacrificed merely to prevent it from eating the brains of its prey.
But Hortense had not a moment to lose. She launched herself at the zombie, ululating a cry fit to rival its undead howls, meat hammer held high aloft.
*Zombie-distracting results not guaranteed.
|Fudgy Mint Zombie-Distracting Brownies||
- 113 g (1/2 C) unsalted butter, cut into chunks
- 114 g (4 oz) unsweetened chocolate, chopped
- 250 g (1 1/4 C) granulated sugar
- 1 tsp peppermint extract
- 2 large eggs
- 65 g (1/2 C) flour
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 113 g (1/2 C) milk
- 16 g (2 1/2 tbs flour)
- 1/2 tsp peppermint extract
- 113 g (1/2 C) butter
- 96 g (1/2 C) granulated (not powdered) sugar
- Green food coloring (optional)
- 12 Mint Creme Oreos, crushed or chopped
- Preheat oven to 325F. Have a rack in the center of the oven.
- Line a 9 x 9 square pan with aluminum foil across the bottom up along two opposing sides of the pan. Set aside.
- For the brownies:
- Melt the butter and chocolate in a double boiler over simmering water.
- Remove from heat and stir in sugar and peppermint extract.
- Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with a heat-proof spoon after each addition.
- Stir in flour and salt. Beat until the batter is smooth and glossy. It will pull away from the pan a bit.
- Pour batter into the prepared pan.
- Bake in the preheated oven for about 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are just beginning to brown and pull aside from the edges. Cool on a wire rack.
- While the brownies are baking, prepare the frosting.
- In a small saucepan, whisk the flour into the milk. Heat gently and stir constantly until it thickens.
- Remove from heat and allow to cool completely. Add the peppermint extract. You may wish to add some food coloring at this point (it’ll mix in a bit easier, but is harder to judge the color, since it will lighten after being added to the sugar and butter).
- While flour mixture cools, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
- Add the cooled flour mixture. Beat until everything combines and has a whipped cream consistency.
- Spread frosting over cooled brownies. Press crumbled Oreos into frosting.
Brownies slice best if chilled. (And may, in fact, be better for lobbing at zombies.)