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3 things to make an online dating profile or resume objective more interesting

Because I’m lazy, and also invested in working on my novel, I haven’t been posting much. (coughunderstatementcough) But web presence is important and all that, so I’ve been trying to think of a relatively simple conceit that will lend itself to  less time-consuming posts than the ones where I bake something, take pictures, and write a 500+ word story to go along with it. Thus I give you:
Lists of 3 things! I will pause for you to admire the grandeur and brilliance.
*pause*
Grandeur and brilliance admired? Good. First up: 3 things that, when combined together, can make your online dating profile or resume objective* more interesting:
  • battening down the hatches
  • spelunking
  • macrame
As in (for the online dating profile): Hi, I’m Hottie McHotterton. I love battening down hatches, spelunking, and macrame. Looking for someone with same interests.**
And (for the resume): Seeking position that will utilize my extreme skillz in the areas of hatch-battening, spelunking, and macrame.***
Now, that wasn’t too painful for any of us. Three more things to come later. At some point. Hopefully at least weekly.

 

*which you shouldn’t be using anyway, as they’re outdated.

**See, I might be willing to meet Hottie just because I want to see what battening down the hatches looks like. However, if Hottie’s profile is riddled with grammatical and spelling errors, then, no, sorry. I have standards.

***I’ve never been a hiring manager, but if I had to read resume objectives, I think this might make for a more amusing day. But I probably still wouldn’t hire you,^ even though as an intelligent hiring manager I’d understand your misspelling of skills within the context.

 

^Unless there is actually a field that involves these 3 things. In which case, you’re welcome for the awesome objective I’ve given you, job seeker. (But you shouldn’t use it anyway. They’re passe, remember.)

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