Carefully, Hortense placed the last bit of crumbled brand-name minty chocolate sandwich cookies atop the pale green frosting. Hand on her lower back to ease the kink, she leaned back. Yes, she thought, these particular brownies would appeal to Eveleen and Joe Junior. A small smile spread across her face as she envisioned the joy of her grandchildren as they tore into the brownies. Perhaps it would take their minds off of the horrors of the zombie apocalypse.

But as if the thought had been a summons, a zombie’s arm smashed through the kitchen window, leaving gobs of putrefying flesh on the shards of glass.  Hortense backed up against the counter. Teeth gritted, she scrabbled behind herself for the only two weapons available to her. Once she found them, she brought them to her chest and paused to assess the situation.

The zombie’s front half had made it through the window. Its obscenely swollen tongue lolled out of its mouth, providing a handy target. Hortense lobbed the dish of brownies straight at it. Eveleen and Joe Junior would have to forgive their grandmother for the lack of baked goods just this once. The plate struck true, eliciting a grunt. The zombie’s gelatinous eyes seemed to take on a look of surprise, as if astounded that such delectable, fudgy goodness laced with mint would be sacrificed merely to prevent it from eating the brains of its prey.

But Hortense had not a moment to lose.  She launched herself at the zombie, ululating a cry fit to rival its undead howls, meat hammer held high aloft.

*Zombie-distracting results not guaranteed.