Category: Bad Poetry

  • The Insomniac’s Lament

    The Insomniac’s Lament O slumber, elude me no longer! Why must you monger Tiredness and grief? Long have I sought you (Little have I fought you) I wish I had caught you Six hours ago! But I stare at the ceiling Devoid of all feeling Except for frustration at you. TO SLEEP! TO LIE WITHOUT…

  • Lone Shoe

    Time to get out my beret again! Lone Shoe a poem by Amanda Helms Lone shoe, Alone shoe, Who left you On the highway? Was it a child off to play? A white-collar worker who could not delay? A slick suspicious figure who hates light of day? Oh shoe, Lone shoe, Gone is your mate!…

  • Alas, Poor Brussels Sprouts

    Because it’s been too long since we’ve had any bad poetry.   Alas, poor Brussels sprouts In the vegetable world, you hold little clout. Yet if people truly knew you, I do not doubt That they would like you, even more than trout!   For when I braise you in a melted pat of butter…

  • My 3 favorite posts of 2013

    Happy new year and all that! Hereby I brag on how awesome I was in 2013 with the following posts: 3. Ode to Black Truffle Salt 2. On being a POHC writer 1. 3 Nemeses of curly hair  

  • Maybe poetry makes it better

    Thoughtless Ideas they have fled My brain is on vacation Sorry for dull post

  • Ode to Black Truffle Salt (or, Why I tend to stick with prose rather than poetry)

    *advances to microphone, taps it* Are we on? Okay. *Adjusts beret*   Ode to Black Truffle Salt by Amanda Helms I love you, black truffle salt, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT! Sprinkling you on foodstuffs I CAN NOT HALT! (two word “can not” deliberate for emphasis of meter)   I love you on corn that…