Amanda Helms

Category: Food

  • Hortense Montgomery, Zombie Killer, Shares Graham Crackers

    Hortense gave her meat hammer an absent rub as she surveyed the horizon. So far, it remained clear; the ocher rays of the setting sun lit only the barren landscape and not shambling corpses. “These are really good, Mrs. Montgomery,” Johnny said behind her. “Thank you, Johnny.” She didn’t bother to turn; one didn’t, when…

  • Storied Kitchen: Irish Cream Cookies

    Snickersnack* the leprechaun eased the burden of his bag of gold off his shoulders and regarded the far end of the rainbow. Why rainbows? Why was it there that he had to hide his gold? Why not at the edge of, say, the Aurora Borealis? Rainbows just seemed so . . . trite. And that…

  • Cooking for Ninjas: Pizza

    Every so often, my brother asks me if I’ve written anything involving ninjas. This is probably not what he meant.   Hey there, Hungry Ninja. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you’re hungry, but pizza? Pffft. That’s not ninja food. Because, after all, the origins of the ninja path and the pizza foodstuff do…

  • Miscellany Monday Presents How to Not Make Pumpkin Gnocchi

    …in several rambling steps. 1 Foster a deep love of winter squash, pumpkin in particular, that leads to compulsive purchase of the gourds at grocery stores and farmers market, even though you receive more than enough vegetables through your CSA and will supposedly receive winter squash from the CSA in the near future. Develop collection…

  • Sourdough snobbery

    A confession: My inner bread baker is a sourdough snob. I hesitate to use the term “inner bread baker,” since that implies the baker aspect of my persona is somehow cut off from the rest of me, or that it’s like a rarely worn shirt hanging in the back of my closet, that, when I…

  • Two things that make me happy

    1. Getting in over 9000 words (and not even including the 843 I lost when my computer crashed during a Write or Die session) during the weekend means I’m caught up on NaNoWriMo after switching ideas on Day 3 last week. And if I get in approximately 2650 each day, I’ll hit 75k by the…

  • This isn’t going to turn into a baking blog, I swear

    It’s a bad sign when I miss my exit because I’m thinking about this recipe. I love King Arthur Flour, both their products and their recipes. I can’t recall a single failure from following their recipes, and though I think I make a pretty good baker, I seem to consistently get the most praise with…