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Amanda Helms

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Lone Shoe

Time to get out my beret again! Lone Shoe a poem by Amanda Helms Lone shoe, Alone shoe, Who left you On the highway? Was it a child off to play? A white-collar worker who could not delay? A slick suspicious figure who hates light of day? Oh shoe, Lone shoe, Gone is your mate!…

July 2, 2014
Let the Kermit flailing commence!

It is with great enthusiasm and much Kermit-flailing that I announce my acceptance to Viable Paradise 18. For those who did not click on the link above, Viable Paradise is a week-long writing workshop focusing on SFF. It pulls in successful instructors–this year’s bunch includes Steven Brust, Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden, and Scott Lynch, among others–and…

June 23, 2014
Creative State

It’s been awhile since I’ve provided any sort of writing update, and I find myself with a dearth of post ideas. So: I’m 98k-ish into my current project (though I already know at least 10k of that will be scrapped). I’m calling it YA comic fantasy, and it is a 3rd revision of an idea I…

June 3, 2014
The fallacy of “When I retire, I’ll write a book.”

In last week’s cop-out post, I mentioned that one of the topics I’d considered writing on before copping out was the fallacy of the notion of beginning to write once retired. It’s perpetuated in a commercial for an investment company commercial that encourages you to think about saving your money for your retirement, when you’ll…

May 21, 2014
3 topics I considered writing on before copping out with this post

The nature of love Why all those “plan for your retirement when you can write the Great American Novel!” commercials are a fallacy Cheese Clearly, I need to get in the habit of doing more* prep work. *Or any at all, whatevs.

May 14, 2014
Alas, Poor Brussels Sprouts

Because it’s been too long since we’ve had any bad poetry. Alas, poor Brussels sprouts In the vegetable world, you hold little clout. Yet if people truly knew you, I do not doubt That they would like you, even more than trout! For when I braise you in a melted pat of butter…

May 7, 2014
Allergies have rendered my brain into a ball of yarn being pounded by flaming hammers.

So in lieu of a real post, enjoy this picture taken during a trip to Seattle in 2011. Enjoy it, I say!

April 30, 2014
An open letter to the birds who start chirping outside my bedroom window at 3:45 in the morning

Dear Birds Who Start Chirping Outside My Bedroom Window at 3:45 in the Morning: I hate you. With the rage of a thousand fiery suns, Amanda

April 23, 2014
3 observations re: ideas

Asking writers where their ideas come from is like asking oysters how they make pearls (or cancer; take your pick). Ideas propagate like rabbits listening to Marvin Gaye on loop. As with children, it is difficult to tell if ideas are ugly unless they belong to someone else.

April 16, 2014
3 Differences between caring for a dog and a tiny human

I never really understood why people suggest getting a dog as a means to prepare for actual childcare. I’m not a parent of a tiny human, but I am a parent of a dog, and on the basis of this experience alone, I can tell there are major differences between caring for the two. Here…

April 9, 2014

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