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Illustration of a bird flying.
  • My passive aggressive ankle

    So last Thursday I twisted my right ankle. It’s not serious; I think it’s a mild sprain. I think this because, while I have always been able to walk on it (aside from the excruciating first minute or two immediately after twisting it), it nevertheless swelled up and turned red. The swelling is gone, now,…

    July 30, 2014
  • I’m not dead

    But I am headachy from exposure to the brightly burning orb in the sky. Go find some pictures of cats or dogs with which to entertain yourself. I will get you started. Cats that forgot how to cat Dogs that forgot how to dog

    July 23, 2014
  • Lone Shoe

    Time to get out my beret again! Lone Shoe a poem by Amanda Helms Lone shoe, Alone shoe, Who left you On the highway? Was it a child off to play? A white-collar worker who could not delay? A slick suspicious figure who hates light of day? Oh shoe, Lone shoe, Gone is your mate!…

    July 2, 2014
  • Let the Kermit flailing commence!

    It is with great enthusiasm and much Kermit-flailing that I announce my acceptance to Viable Paradise 18. For those who did not click on the link above, Viable Paradise is a week-long writing workshop focusing on SFF. It pulls in successful instructors–this year’s bunch includes Steven Brust, Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden, and Scott Lynch, among others–and…

    June 23, 2014
  • Creative State

    It’s been awhile since I’ve provided any sort of writing update, and I find myself with a dearth of post ideas. So: I’m 98k-ish into my current project (though I already know at least 10k of that will be scrapped). I’m calling it YA comic fantasy, and it is a 3rd revision of an idea I…

    June 3, 2014
  • The fallacy of “When I retire, I’ll write a book.”

    In last week’s cop-out post, I mentioned that one of the topics I’d considered writing on before copping out was the fallacy of the notion of beginning to write once retired. It’s perpetuated in a commercial for an investment company commercial that encourages you to think about saving your money for your retirement, when you’ll…

    May 21, 2014
  • 3 topics I considered writing on before copping out with this post

    The nature of love Why all those “plan for your retirement when you can write the Great American Novel!” commercials are a fallacy Cheese Clearly, I need to get in the habit of doing more* prep work. *Or any at all, whatevs.

    May 14, 2014
  • Alas, Poor Brussels Sprouts

    Because it’s been too long since we’ve had any bad poetry.   Alas, poor Brussels sprouts In the vegetable world, you hold little clout. Yet if people truly knew you, I do not doubt That they would like you, even more than trout!   For when I braise you in a melted pat of butter…

    May 7, 2014
  • Allergies have rendered my brain into a ball of yarn being pounded by flaming hammers.

    So in lieu of a real post, enjoy this picture taken during a trip to Seattle in 2011. Enjoy it, I say!

    April 30, 2014
  • An open letter to the birds who start chirping outside my bedroom window at 3:45 in the morning

    Dear Birds Who Start Chirping Outside My Bedroom Window at 3:45 in the Morning: I hate you. With the rage of a thousand fiery suns, Amanda  

    April 23, 2014
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Amanda Helms

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