Amanda Helms

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  • 3 Things I love about fall

    Fall foliage Kabocha squash The chance to drink hot tea while wearing fuzzy socks

    November 6, 2013
  • Ode to Black Truffle Salt (or, Why I tend to stick with prose rather than poetry)

    *advances to microphone, taps it* Are we on? Okay. *Adjusts beret*   Ode to Black Truffle Salt by Amanda Helms I love you, black truffle salt, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT! Sprinkling you on foodstuffs I CAN NOT HALT! (two word “can not” deliberate for emphasis of meter)   I love you on corn that…

    October 30, 2013
  • The Emotional Journey of Writing: A Line Graph

    (Click anywhere on the image to enlarge.)

    October 22, 2013
  • 3 Things I wish for at this very moment, presented in an order that may or may not increase dramatic tension

     (in my best Bob Barker voice, which is to say, a rather poor Bob Barker voice) A NEW CAR! . . . except I wouldn’t want to pay taxes on winning the thing, so maybe just the cash, except I’d also have to pay taxes on the cash, so I suppose what I really want…

    October 16, 2013
  • 3 unfortunate truths about myself

    It’s quite possible that when I’m old, I will turn into one of those curmudgeons shouting at children to stay off her lawn. (Maybe I should avoid ever getting a lawn.) If I had superpowers, there would be a lot of mostly good (I assume) people missing eyes, appendages, and well-functioning limbic systems because they…

    October 9, 2013
  • An open letter to the fellow conference attendee who asked me if I write “real science fiction”

    Note: this format is unashamedly stolen from McSweeny’s Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond. Check it out. Dear Fellow Conference Attendee Who Asked Me if I Write “Real Science Fiction,” Let me begin by saying that on the whole, I had a very good time at the Colorado Gold Conference…

    October 2, 2013
  • Work world aphorism: “Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.”

    I’m back home from the Colorado Gold Conference. Or rather, now that I am home, I will not have to drive out to southeast Denver for anymore workshops or speakers. Because I’m cheap and did not get a hotel room. Maybe next year. I digress.* In any case, one thing that stuck me during the…

    September 25, 2013
  • Can’t talk. Writing.

    Or rather, can’t write here; writing elsewhere. In lieu of a real post, here is a picture of my dog.

    September 18, 2013
  • Pitch for my novel

    In slightly under two weeks I will be attending the Colorado Gold Writing Conference, during which I’ll find out if my submission, Second Sun, won first place in the speculative fiction category of the Colorado Gold Writing Conference. Definitely nice to be a finalist and all, but I did have an “Oh, crap” moment when…

    September 11, 2013
  • 3 statements improved by including “with cookies”

    In what is perhaps one of my more bizarre efforts at minimizing stress and frustrations at the day job, I have begun thinking of how including the phrase “with cookies” can improve various statements. Observe: Steel cage death match–with cookies! “And wuv, twue wuv–wif cookies–will fowwow you foevah . . .”* Handle with care cookies**…

    September 4, 2013
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Amanda Helms

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